


Introduction to Religious Customs

by thetidebreaks



Category: Community
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-22
Updated: 2011-12-22
Packaged: 2017-10-27 19:29:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/299255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetidebreaks/pseuds/thetidebreaks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With the Glee Club insanity past and their impromptu holiday party over, Troy decides he'd still like to infiltrate Christmas, and enlists Abed's help to do it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Introduction to Religious Customs

**Author's Note:**

  * For [roonerspism](https://archiveofourown.org/users/roonerspism/gifts).



> This takes place after 3x10 "Regional Holiday Music", so spoilers in general for that. I hope your yule is bright, roonerspism, and I hope this is what you were looking for!

Though the spell the Glee Club had on them was broken and the urge to sing was long gone, Troy found himself preoccupied with the general idea Abed and he had during it. The Christmas season has always been a little bit of a downer for him, with obvious reason – while everyone celebrated and decorated and got to talk to a fat guy in a red outfit, Troy was always forced to watch but not participate. And okay, maybe the fat guy always sort of freaked him out, and he always was suspicious of him because anyone that jolly all the time was creepy, but the other stuff was awesome and he wished he could be a part of it.

 

Except he couldn’t. There’d been no loop holes – until Abed brought one up. And it’s a loop hole that totally made sense to him, and it might even help his family. How cool would that be? He could be a Jehova’s Witness hero. A legend!

 

Except Abed hadn’t brought it up since then, and they can’t really go out when everyone is here anyway. And he’d maybe start trying to learn about Christmas (to destroy it, of course) through the meal they all share, but Troy is pretty sure there’s usually more to it than just grabbing things that happen to be in the house and ordering out at the only Chinese place that is apparently open in town.  It wasn’t even good Chinese food, which was lame. Also gross, but that goes without saying.

 

Gross food aside, everyone was happy and having a good time. And that’s what Troy decides he’s supposed to take from the experience. Or, at least, that’s what he’s going to assume until he could talk to Abed. And he couldn’t do that until everyone cleared out to their respective homes. Except Annie, who obviously lived there too, but she was Jewish so he didn’t think she’d have a lot of answers for him. Maybe if he decides to also go undercover and infiltrate Hanukkah she’ll be a good in, but for now, he’s only got one holiday in mind.

 

“We still doing that thing?” Troy casually asked, as he helped pick up the last remains of their haphazard holiday party. Abed was halfway to picking up one of Jeff’s beer bottles, and he paused in the movement to look over at him.

 

“What thing?” he asked, tilting his head in that way he always does when he’s confused.

 

“You know,” Troy said, moving a little closer so as not to be overheard by Annie, even though she was in an entirely different room. This was a covert operation, after all. “Infiltrating Christmas? There’s still a couple hours left.”

 

“Ah right,” he replied, looking immediately thoughtful. “Well, I had only suggested that in a misguided attempt to bring us all together.”

 

Troy sort of figured that after everything that happened, but his face still fell a little.

.

“I don’t see why we can’t still do it,” he added with a shrug, as if he wasn’t suggesting something as big as infiltrating a holiday. Troy always liked that about him, it made him look as cool, which made sense, because he is cool. “Want to go when we’re done here?”

 

“Yeah! We even have those itchy but Christmas-related sweaters Mr. Rad gave us still that we can wear,” Troy pointed out. They were horrible looking, but they had Christmas trees on them. No one would suspect a thing if they were wearing things with Christmas trees on them.

 

“Cool,” Abed replied with a nod of his head, then went back to picking up the last of the garbage in the main room.

 

Troy did too, though most of his thoughts was focused on how awesome this was going to be.

 

\--

 

“Where are you guys going?” Annie asked, from her spot at the table. She’d seemed satisfied with the cleanliness of their apartment at that point, and was reading some kind of girly magazine at the table.

 

“A secret mission,” Troy replied, smugly.

 

She just stared at them for a long moment (and at their sweaters) as if trying to come up with a response. Troy doesn’t blame her for being speechless; he would be too at how awesome it was. “Okay. It’s not going to involve more singing, is it?”

 

“What? Oh, no, these are just disguises,” Troy told her, matter-of-factly. She seemed to be relax at that, though she still looked sort of confused.

 

“Well, have fun, I guess? Oh! Can you guys get more milk while you’re out?” she asked, brightening.

 

“ _Annie_ ,” Troy whined, making a face. Stuff like picking up milk was absolutely not supposed to be done on secret missions.

 

“Please, Troy?” she asked, and then she made that really sad face that Troy felt bad saying no to every time. Every single time. He was starting to think she did it on purpose.

 

“We’ll get some,” Abed assured, coming out of the room he’d been in. Nodding toward the door, he started heading toward it. Troy followed after him, saying a goodbye to Annie over his shoulder as he went. He wondered, as they left the apartment, if maybe they should’ve asked her to come along as back-up. But it was already a pretty dangerous mission, so keeping it between them really was probably better. He didn’t want to put her in unnecessary danger.

 

“So what are we doing first?” Troy prompted as they climbed into Abed’s car. He was the one who knew what they needed to ‘celebrate’ this holiday and he wanted to be prepared.

 

“We don’t have a lot of time, so I thought we would keep it simple. There is certain imagery that every classic Christmas setting needs to have in order to be considered one. The centerpiece is always the tree, so I think we should look for one of those first,” Abed suggested, once he sat down and got the car started. “I’m sure we’ll be able to find something.”

 

Having to find that ‘something’ took up an hour of their time, as apparently every tree farm in the area was either closed or cleared out. One person offered them something that Abed would later describe as looking close to the tree in the Charlie Brown special, which would’ve been fine except he was asking for a price that was more than their rent. With the hours of Christmas quickly dwindling, they went into the first 24-hour convenience store they could find.

 

And there were trees in there. Fake ones, but they were tree-shaped, and that was apparently all that mattered.

 

“I don’t think leaves come in that color,” Troy said, staring at the pastel-colored monstrosity in front of them when they found the last of the fake trees. He didn’t get why anyone would color a tree purple and pink and yellow, especially when Troy already knew those were definitely not Christmas colors.

 

“Those are half-off,” a nearby worker said, sounding incredibly disinterested as she continued to do her work.

 

Considering the amount of money between them, that was more than enough to have the thing put into their cart. And since they were in a place that pretty much sold everything, it made sense to stay there and keep looking for things they’d need. Unfortunately, and probably unsurprisingly, the place had been fairly cleaned out to begin with. They were the most last minute of last minute shoppers, and no Christmas sweaters they wore would change that fact. But they were nothing if not resourceful, so for every classic holiday item, they found replacements.

 

Oven mitts for stockings. Assorted nuts for the chestnuts, which, in fact, did at least _include_ chestnuts. They got random, ninety-nine cent toys to decorate the trees, even though pretty much none of those really worked with the Christmas theme. Some of them were awesome though, stuff Troy’s sure will decorate their place afterwards, so he’s definitely not complaining. They picked up party streamers too in lieu of the tinsel that wasn’t available. There are wreaths that are the same color as their tree, so they grab that too. Abed brings over a tiny plastic plant-looking thing, and Troy just goes with it when he puts it in, assuming it’s something Christmas-related.

 

They don’t forget the milk they promised Annie, and along with it, they get eggnog too – which apparently is a Christmas thing. Troy couldn’t help but think it sounded kind of gross, but he was doing this to really get Christmas, and he wouldn’t fail that mission.

 

It was eight at night by the time everything was packed into the car. Troy fiddled with the radio as they started to drive back, until he came across a station playing Christmas tunes. Troy resolutely did not enjoy humming along with them – though he did, of course, because it felt like he had to get into the spirit of the holiday.  His plan would only be successful if he immersed himself in it, and he was willing to go deep for this.

 

\---

 

It was clear Annie wasn’t expecting them to come marching back into their apartment with all the stuff they bought. In fact, she didn’t seem to know what to think as they dragging in their multicolored Christmas tree and their bags of inexpensive Christmas decorations. It was then that Troy realized they probably had to read her in on their plan.

 

“So you’re trying to take down Christmas,” she said, slowly, like she was trying to process it. And Troy knew it was probably a lot to process. It was a pretty big deal, after all. “You guys do know –“

 

She hesitated, looking between them, before sighing.

 

“-I’d be willing to help, right?” she finished, with a smile that kind of seemed forced but Troy didn’t think much of it. Annie was Jewish, after all, so he couldn’t really imagine she’d try to stop him. That was why telling her had been an obvious thing.

 

“Cool,” Abed said, nodding his approval. “You can help us decorate the tree so it looks appropriately festive.”

 

They had forgotten to buy a stand for a tree, so they ended up propping it up against the wall, which was no small feat, since it was scrawny and even the lightest touch would send it to the point of nearly toppling over. The toys wouldn’t hang on the branches either, so they hung the party streamers off the flimsy branches while Annie sat at the table and cut out ornament shapes out of colored paper she had.  Those hung, at least, albeit at an angle since the entire tree was at an angle.

 

The rest was a little easier. They couldn’t hang the oven mitts over a fire since they didn’t have a fire, so they hung them on the shelves and used the action figures to weigh them down enough to keep them up. Annie got misty-eyed at the fact they’d gotten three, but both Troy and Abed hadn’t thought twice about it when they picked it up. She was as much a part of the apartment as they were. And since she was helping Troy to infiltrate Christmas, it was all the more reason to make sure she was included. When all was said and done, they put up everything they could, making the apartment as festive as it could look with supplies bought from a store that was pretty much the least Christmas-related store there could be.

 

The three surveyed their work, each with eggnog in hand. They all looked satisfied, and Troy chose that moment to take a sip. He immediately regretted it, and ran to the sink wordlessly to spit it out. No amount of water afterwards could help. It only made it _worse._

 

“I think my tastebuds are dying!”  he bemoaned to the two, who had moved to be by his side. Suffice to say, the jug of the stuff was poured out, and Troy had to stay as far away as possible from the sink to avoid the smell the rest of the night.

 

With only a half hour until midnight, Annie had decided to turn in, opting out of what would be a night of watching Christmas specials. Troy looked at the work they’d done, trying his best to connect to it the way he knew he had to. A superficial enjoyment of the holiday wasn’t going to get him in deep cover and get him the information he needed.

 

“Has this given you what you needed to go after Christmas next year?” Abed asked, coming up to stand next to him.  Troy thought about it, then shook his head.

 

“I don’t know. Something’s missing,” he admitted, sounding bummed. Because he was. They’d done all this work, and for what? Now they just had a weird colored fake tree in their apartment.

 

“That’s because the decorations are only part of it. There’s a reason why most Christmas specials end up with people together and happy. That’s what I was trying to get when I tried to trick everyone into the Glee Club. I thought I might be able to get the magic there. Turns out, it wasn’t needed,” he explained with a thoughtful frown. He shrugged to himself then, and, after a beat, asked, “Popcorn?”

 

“Popcorn? Oh, yeah, sure,” Troy said, though he was busy getting his head around what Abed was trying to say. He followed his friend into the kitchen area of the apartment, leaning against the doorframe. As he watched him take off the plastic from the popcorn bag, he finally asked, “So what _was_ needed?”

 

“You guys,” Abed said, simply, as he went through the motions of putting the popcorn into the microwave. “There was better ways to get that than working with Mr. Rad.”

 

“Tell me about it, that dude was crazy,” Troy agreed. He didn’t like the Glee Club, but killing them in anything other than paint ball seemed a little much.  He listened to the popcorn pop as he fell silent again, considering what he’d been told. It was only by chance that he happened to glance up at the doorframe he was leaning against, where he spotted a tiny, familiar looking plastic plant.

 

“What’s that?” Troy asked, remembering  Abed walked over to look at what he was looking at.

 

“Mistletoe.  Annie must have hung it up,” he realized. He didn’t wait for Troy to ask what it was. “Mistletoe is a common device to get two people together in Christmas specials. If you stand under it with someone, you’re supposed to kiss them, as tradition dictates.”

 

“Abed, we’re standing underneath it,” Troy said, raising an eyebrow. And if that was the tradition, then – “Wait, do we need to kiss now?”

 

“Hm. Well, there’s nothing forcing it,” Abed pointed out, not looking quite as freaked out as Troy was quickly becoming.

 

“But it’s a Christmas thing,” Troy replied, a tone of dread in his voice.

 

“Yes.”

 

It wasn’t the answer he wanted to hear. It did, however, cement the fact he had to do this. He had gotten into this to experience Christmas so he knew what he was up against. And if that meant having to kiss Abed because of some weird rule people made up for a plastic plant, so be it. With a look that could only be described as determined, he shook his head. “Let’s do it.”

 

He’s already preparing for it to be weird the second Abed clearly was fine with going along with his decision. Then he started to second guess himself as he put a hand on his friend’s shoulder. When they’re leaning in, he’s nearing convincing himself it would be like kissing a brother, except the second that does sink in, he immediately regrets that thought, because why would he want to kiss a family member like he was about to kiss Abed? At least that momentary disgust got him through the first few seconds when their lips met.

 

And then the disgust sort of melted away completely.

 

It wasn’t like kissing a girl. Which Troy knew made sense, since Abed was definitely not a girl. But it wasn’t weird, either, or bad, or anything else he expected it to be. Instead, it actually felt the exact opposite of weird, and for a second, he could forget it was Abed. He didn’t know if Abed was doing one of his characters or what, but it left him feeling to good kind of warm inside, and it’s not disgust that makes him break the kiss, but the sudden and unexpected sound of popping, which startled him out of whatever haze he’d been in, realizing only belated he’d at some point started to cup his friend’s cheek. He cleared his throat and stepped away, though the warm feeling lingered. He could almost feel Abed studying him, though he wasn’t really able to make eye contact.

 

“I’ll go grab the popcorn, you pick a DVD?” he prompted, ending the silence between them.

 

“Yeah, sure, man,” he replied, never so glad to have not had been the one who be the first to talk. He took the opportunity and went with it, going over to get things set up while Abed got the snacks.

 

On a whim, Troy had decided to push the seats closer together, figuring it’d make it easier to share the popcorn and no other reason he could possibly come up with. Abed took it in stride, and it didn’t take them long to settle into a comfortable silence as they started _A Charlie Brown Christmas_. It got easier to relax as time went on, but the warm feeling didn’t really leave.

 

“Hey, yellow and purple trees. Maybe they got the idea from this movie,” Troy spoke up when they reached the part, actually perking up. Their tree might actually make _sense_.

 

“There’s an even more important one coming up that I think is more likely to be copied,” Abed advised, popping the last of the popcorn into his mouth.

 

“Oh,” he said, frowning a little. And here he’d thought that maybe he’d finally figured out why anyone would make their fake trees that color. When he looked over at Abed, he realized he was looking at him with an expression Troy couldn’t read. Not that the latter part of it was out of the ordinary, but it still made him curious. “What?”

 

“Nothing. I’m glad you decided to infiltrate Christmas here instead of not celebrating it with your family,” he shrugged, his head turning back to the movie.  Troy watched him for a long moment, then slowly grinned.

 

“I am too,” he admitted, settling back into his seat as well. For all the time they spent decorating their place, he was pretty sure right now was the closest he’d gotten to being in the holiday spirit. That it seemed less about the decorations and the shows and more about the person who’d he put this all together with wasn’t lost on him.

 

The night felt like it ended up being more revealing than Troy even expected, though he didn’t think all that much about that, not yet. There was a dog dancing on a tiny piano on screen, and that was awesome.

 

\---

 

Annie found them the next morning, the chairs in front of the television set pushed together, Christmas special DVD boxes strewn about the area.. At some point during the night, they’d eventually come to lean against each other, Abed using Troy’s shoulder as a pillow and Troy’s cheek resting against the top of his head. Despite the mess, she couldn’t help but smile at the sight of them.

 

Neither stirred when she tossed a blanket over, and she left them there to get her morning started.


End file.
